What to do

  Work hard and apply yourself to every task. Even if it might be boring, it’ll pay off in the end.

  Presentation is the key. If there’s a uniform – wear it, if not make sure you check with your employers what’s expected. No cowboy hats and cat suits. Meow!

  Always ask questions. If you’re not sure about something don’t be afraid to ask!

  A smile can make all the difference.

  Customer equals God. They must always come first, even if they forget to brush their hair and sometimes their teeth!

  Time. Stick to it and your job will stick with you.

  Leave your social problems in the changing room. Whether someone’s run off with your boyfriend or Toby’s poisoned your pet fish – it mustn’t interfere with work.

  Enjoy yourself. At the end of the day if you’re not enjoying your job, your jobs not enjoying you!

What not to do

Well some of these are obvious but others…not so much.

  No stealing. Full stop.

  No swearing. Not at naughty customers, your boss or your work mates. Actually don’t swear. Promise! (But if you have to then do it after work. We recommend an open field, a crowded bar or in a hot bath.)

  Don’t quit on the first shift. Give it a chance, stick at it. Some jobs take time to get used to.

  No smoking or drinking on the job. This is obvious but really important! (If you’re looking to quit smoking then call the Samaritans. If you’re looking for someone to smoke with then contact Ed.)

  No bullying. You wouldn’t like it so don’t do it.

  No skiving. Don’t be a knock off like Nigel (we’ve never met him but apparently he’s very unpleasant)

  Don’t bring your pets to work. Unless it’s national bring your pets to work day!

  No streaking on the job. Ok, now we’re being silly.

  Seriously most of these points are really important and if you don’t follow them you’ll quickly find yourself out of a job and out of pocket.